Always a Girl’s Girl

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        If there is an OG movie for girlhood, it’s the 2004 Mean Girls. That movie practically raised a whole generation on the idea of cliques, girl codes, and the chaos of navigating female friendships. But somewhere between the Burn Book and “You can’t sit with us,” we also inherited a very distorted idea of what girlhood and solidarity actually look like. And that’s when I thought, why not talk about what a real girl’s girl actually is? Because spoiler: it’s not Regina, and it’s not even Cady on her best behaviour.

        You know, people have this cute little idea that being a “girl’s girl” means having a massive girl gang, matching scrunchies, never mingling with boys, the gossip queens. Honestly? That’s barely the trailer, not the movie. A real girl’s girl is defined by how she shows up for other women when things are uncomfortable, messy, or downright painful. She listens, she supports, she stays present. And not in that performative, “I’m here for you” way, but in the quiet, consistent, steady way that actually matters. (People talk a lot. Very few follow through.)

                

       What people forget is that a girl’s girl doesn’t limit her empathy to her inner circle. She doesn’t treat strangers like threats or competitors. She’ll look out for the girl having a panic moment in the bathroom, she’ll check on the one who seems out of place, and she won’t join in when someone tries to gossip about another woman (she won't make one too). Kindness isn’t a selective membership for her; it’s just her default setting.

        But the real litmus test? Boundaries. Especially with men. If her female best friend loves someone, she'll make sure the guy is someone who deserves her bestie; otherwise, it's all about tea. Or if her male best friend is into someone, she automatically shifts her behaviour so the other girl doesn’t feel threatened or sidelined. Not because she’s scared, but because she understands emotional ethics. A girl’s girl never wants to be the reason another woman feels insecure. She knows when to step back, when to soften her presence, and when her “it’s just friendship” could actually be hurting someone. (This part tends to expose a lot of people.)

         And she definitely isn’t in competition mode 24/7. A real girl’s girl doesn’t weaponise attention, doesn’t create tension for sport, and doesn’t act like every other woman is her rival. She’s secure enough to share compliments, opportunities, and space. In a world that constantly pits women against each other, she chooses to opt out and instead lifts others up. It’s not saintly, it’s just emotionally mature.

        People love to romanticise the phrase “girl’s girl.” They imagine a girl surrounded by a million female friends, always laughing, always in group pictures; is a real girl's girl, NO that is JUST a friendly girl (know the difference). So if you think you’ve met a “girl’s girl,” look closely: 

How does she treat women who can’t give her anything back? 

How does she behave when a guy’s feelings are involved? 

Does she protect other women even when nobody’s watching? 

That’s the real definition. Anything else is just Mean Girls cosplay, and trust me, the gaps always show. 




      

        

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