Nonchalant? Not my style!

        

 

In this first post of 2026, let me begin with something wildly un/cool.

        

        Nonchalant is the new trend, the new personality, the new badge of emotional “cool.” It’s everywhere right now. People take pride in replying late, showing less care, and acting as if nothing really matters to them (sure, it does piss me off). And yeah, maybe it looks effortless and evolved, but honestly? I hate it !(strictly personal opinion). I don’t want a friend or a partner who is nonchalant. I’m not that way, and I’m not expecting the people in my life to be either.

        I’ve always imagined what it would be like to experience things fully, to feel chosen, considered, and cared for without having to ask. If I love someone, I will move heaven and earth to do things for them. I love loudly. I care the most. I show up. That’s just who I am. So no, I don’t dream of emotional distance. I dream of a friend who actually has the time and energy for my chatty ways, someone who doesn’t see effort as a burden (wild dream, I know some of these won't work).

        At least once in my lifetime, I want to experience that kind of love and friendship, the kind where enthusiasm isn’t embarrassing, and presence isn’t rationed. I don’t want to feel like I have to dim myself to be digestible. I don’t want to wonder if I’m “too much” when I’m just being real. I know how to love, and I know what it looks like when it’s done right.

        And the problem is, I’ve already seen the standard. You have to meet my father, the best guy, who set the bar for being truly chalant.(I love him for that, and I hate him for that too). He cares deeply, consistently, without irony or hesitation. So, tell me, how am I supposed to settle for something less than that? When you grow up seeing love expressed so openly, it rewires you. You can’t unsee it. You can’t unknow it.

        So, will this stop me from being in love? I don’t think so. But should I teach a grown person how to be a small part of that? Should I explain why effort matters, why showing up counts, why care isn’t weakness? Oh man, that’s tiring. I would like some mutual understanding, not emotional training sessions.

        Here’s the thing, though, whether it’s love or hate, it should be loud. Feelings are meant to be expressed, not tucked away for the sake of looking cool. If someone doesn’t know how to express themselves yet, that’s okay. Not everyone was taught how. But be with someone who can, someone who isn’t afraid of feeling out loud, and learn from them. And if nothing else, try to reciprocate it for them. You don’t have to match energy perfectly, just honestly.

        When the people I love/don't love that much, get this kind of care easily, I’m genuinely happy for them. I really am. But sometimes, quietly, I look up and think, God, I’m seeing what you’re doing for others, don’t you see me too? (Do you think it's more to ask for? or should I be specific? Or should I not wish at all?

Maybe patience is part of the lesson. Until then, I’m not settling for nonchalance just because it’s trending. I’d rather wait than unlearn how deeply I know how to love.